


Are you sure you want to read this?

by orphan_account



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 18:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: someone hears Hannibal fart...<br/>.<br/>YEP</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are you sure you want to read this?

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno what rating to use XD

Hannibal shifted as subtly as he could. He should have known better and politely refused Will’s offer of sharing lunch. Now the nefarious fried chicken burger with double mayo was wreaking havoc in his tummy. The shifting did not help, on the contrary, it increased the urge to expel the offending gas painfully bloating his bowels.

He desperately clenched his anus and looked at his watch. Just five more minutes before he could politely end the session. Fortunately, Mister Riddle was a man so self-centered and mentally deranged that he failed to notice Hannibal’s wandering attention.

Hannibal sighed tiredly, some people he neither understood nor desired to eat. He leaned forward, which in hindsight was a mistake. The suit pants cut painfully into his swollen waist.

“I’m afraid our time’s up, Mister Riddle. Please take your medication and refrain from stalking unsuspecting individuals with unfortunate facial scar patters until our next session. I’d rather avoid a malpractice law suit if at all possible.”

The man responded angrily but to Hannibal’s distracted mind it sounded more like a loud snakelike hiss. The patient deliberately used the wrong door which even in this state did not fail to give Hannibal’s rudar* a ping-a-ping-o. Maybe he’d eat the man after all.

It was at this moment that Hannibal noticed a shocked Will Graham standing in his waiting room.

“Hannibal…are your patients often this…nose-less?”

“Very mature Will, please come in. What brings you here without an appointment?” Will followed Hannibal inside.

“Oh…no reason… Just wanted to apologize. Oh man, that burger reaaally messed me up. I don’t know how I’m alive. The FBI men’s room might as well be burned now. Oh if you go there anytime soon, just avoid the last stall. Trust me. It’s a crime scene.” Will’s passion filled description of his afternoon design brought tears of dread to Hannibal’s eyes. He bent in half to hold his tummy as he desperately tried to prevent the inevitable.

It was at this moment that a terrible sound rocked the room. Drawn out and nasty and telling tales of unimaginably happy release. It was a song of freedom. A hymn of hell. And then there was silence.

“Hannibal…did you just fart in front of me for the first time?” Will it seemed was in a much less poetic mood. He was grinning and waving his hand furiously in front of his face in a futile attempt to avoid the stench. “Oh man…this is what friendship smells like.” With that bit of wisdom he went to open the nearest window before the room became a biohazard. 

**Author's Note:**

> *rudar = rude radar – Hannibal does SO love having his little inside jokes with himself <3 (sorryyy)
> 
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> 
> Please leave kudos if this made you laugh x3 thanksss <3
> 
> umm the unnecessary Harry Potter reference >.>' well it just happened XD
> 
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> 
> and there's another response(not mine) to this prompt riiight here:  
> http://hannibalkink.dreamwidth.org/1847.html?thread=1618231


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